I can’t believe a year has gone by since our last entry on www.highbarnets.co.uk!
Much has happened since we last spoke. Put the kettle on, crack open the hobnobs and pull up a chair while I tell you all about it. Milk and nine sugars please!

Following an unusually slow end of 2009, The Barnets are ecstatic to report that some prestige gigs are slowly rolling into sight. Keep ‘em peeled for details.

The first of these super gigs took place at the newly re-furbished Watermans Arms in Hersham. A capacity crowd dribbled and danced their little trotters off late into the night and we are sure that we will be back there again soon.

Thanks, once again to Neil and all at the The PM Society for having us play at the annual awards ceremony for the second time. The Grosvenor House Hotel was throbbing to the sound of 1500 guests in all their finery, getting down and dirty to the Barnets. A fantastic afternoon.

In a complex and groundbreaking operation, Kenny has had to octopuses (octopi?) grafted onto his wrists. Instead of the usual pound of King Edwards that used to poke out of his shirt cuffs, he now has two nimble octopi so he can fly about the fret board like Usain Bolt with the shits.

Finally, it is with a heavy heart that I have to report a tragic loss from Camp Barnet.
After a long and illustrious career with The High Barnets, Toni’s religion revealing, checked slacks are now officially too tight for him.

Everybody’s favourite one-handed keyboard botherer first noticed a problem 3 months ago when, following a particularly complex tambourine manoeuvre, the button popped open, revealing the top of his red mowgli pants. Closer inspection showed an angry, button-shaped imprint on his gut, a sure sign of trouser stress fatigue.
For three long months, Toni soldiered on with the slacks, resorting to just doing the zipper up and pulling his t-shirt over the exposed pubic area, but after a long, brave fight, Toni conceded. It was all over.

However, the trouser’s memory lives on. In a moving ceremony, Toni handed the prized pantaloons down to his partner’s son and part-time roadie, Ashley.
“It’s very sad and I think I was in denial for a long time.” sniffed Toni as he reminisced over his loss “I just had to face the fact that we had grown apart.” whispered the deceptively skinny, fat ivory stroker.

TONI’S TROUSERS – R.I.P. 2007 – 2010